Monday, October 5, 2009

I Thought You’d Be Taller

So, I quit the internet and then I didn’t post about it as much as I thought I would. Mostly because there wasn’t much to write about unless you wanted me to post photos of my completed Sudoku puzzles. In the end, it was a neat experience. I think, to really appreciate living without the internet, I would have to disconnect myself for a longer time…a year maybe, and frankly, I’m not sure what I would do with myself at work w/o the internet.
I thought that not being on the internet would cause me to be more social, go out more, make contact with more people…and it did. I went to coffee shops and walked a lot. I sat in the park more and generally decided to make a larger effort to not hibernate as much as I can.

Did I get more dates? No. I went out to the bars and got phone numbers, but called none of them because my follow through sucks, I couldn’t remember quite what they looked like or I saw them at Folsom…and decided that ‘sounding’ wasn’t the fetish for me.

I listened to a lot of country music.

Quitting the internet did make me do a lot of little projects around the house that I’d been meaning to get to for months.

Quitting the internet did not make me go to the gym more consistently.

Quitting the internet did make me write more. In fact, I wrote, journaled, blogged, did Sudoku and crosswords and read the paper, did my homework, emailed people, called my mother and organized a dinner party.

And much like quitting TV, not being on FaceSpace meant that my friends were only slight confused or irritated when I said, “No, I didn’t see the YouTube video – Best Pole Dance Ever.”

When I quit, people looked at me funny. When I came back, they cheered (sort of) which made me feel missed and loved.

This project requires and demands a larger committment than I'm not ready to give.  That's really what I realized.  I can avoid doing something for a month.  I can avoid getting on the internet and perfectly distract myself with crosswords and cafe sitting.  Actually, I really enjoyed the 'alone time' aspect in which I blocked the world out with books and music and cooking.  I didn't see or call friends that I haven't in a long time, but I suspect that were I to continue this, I would.  I think I would spend more time out getting to know new people too, becoming a regular at a coffee shop again and creating a network of new people around me.  I think a month really high-lighted what I already thought - I need to go out more, and a month off the internet did help me explore ways to do that.  I did realize this too...I have really amazing friends that I am very privileged to hang out with and very grateful that they're a part of my life.  I can handle alot of 'alone time', but...we're all social animals...and my herd is so f*ing cool! 
What now?

Someone asked what the fate of my blog was now that the month was up….and well, quitting the internet did teach me that I kind of like this blogging action. Writing is like love – it’s infinite. It’s limited by only time and resources. It’s also a muscle. The more you write…the more you write…the more you write.

So, how do you follow up with a month of internet abstinence? Obviously – a month of internet dating!

Internet dating is huge business, and it has seriously become a mainstream avenue for meeting new people.  I recently met a couple who have been together for five years after meeting on an internet dating site.  My own mother married a man from the internet.  So did one of my classmates.  Discussing various project ideas with someone else...in relationship to quitting the internet too, they told me, "I meet most of my dates online because I hate hanging out in bars, and I have a nightmare schedule.  I'm not sure how I'd meet people if I wasn't online."

I have my own history with internet dating.  Really not important how vast or...not...except to say that the last internet date I went on lasted exactly...exactly 28 minutes.  I spent more time getting ready for the date than actually being on it. 

Here's the format - 6 sites w/ six posts - suggestions on other (free) sites are welcome.
okcupid
plentyoffish
crazyblinddate
craigslist
g----
m------

Rules:
Ethically, I think it's wrong to go out with people I'm not particularly interested in for the sake of the blog.
okcupid, plentyoffish, craigslist and crazyblinddate already disclose that I'm writing a blog (this part may change).  The other two, I'm not so sure I'm involving in this project, but since they're in my regular rotation of sites I visit, I'll keep you updated.

General Feelings: 
There's not really any reason to trash anyone on a blog, particularly someone I've met in such a limited capacity. 

Comments are enabled - Email me if you want to go out.